Brainworks® - 7 Rules for Setting Goals
7 Rules for Setting Goals
"You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal."
- Zig Ziglar
| Rule 1: | Put the goal in writing; be specific. |
| Rule 2: | Why do you want this goal? |
| Rule 3: | Make a list of what can prevent you from reaching your goal. Write out a strategy to avoid derailing. |
| Rule 4: | Trick yourself into getting started. |
| Rule 5: | Create an accountability system. |
| Rule 6: | Make it fun! Make it a game! |
| Rule 7: | Reward! Reward! Reward! |
| ASK THE EXPERT |
Question
I am in 7th grade and don't have any friends. My mom said to make it my New Year's Resolution to make friends in 2010. I have been back at school a week now, and I haven't talked to anybody. I don't know what to say or do. Can you help me?
Answer:
Your mom gave you good advice, but I think you need to change your desire from a Resolution to a Goal. Resolutions are wishes dreams, usually without any plans. A goal is specific and must have a plan. Let's follow the 7 rules and see if we can make a plan for you.
| Rule 1: | Write down you goal. "I want to make for friends in 2010." Describe in detail the kinds of friends you want, what you want to do with your friends and if possible, name some people you think you would like to have as friends. Then, write down your goal on sticky notes and put reminders everywhere - on your computer, on the bathroom mirror, in your shoe. These reminders will help you stay focused, so put them where you will see them every day. |
| Rule 2: | Why do you want friends? List the benefits of having and being a friend. Make a poster stating your goal and all the benefits when you succeed. Put this poster in one of those daily places and read it out loud every day. |
| Rule 3: | Make a list of the problems you have had before or think you will have this time. Are you shy? Are you afraid? Is making friends a priority to you? Do you have a positive attitude? Write down your strategy for each obstacle. |
| Rule 4: | Trick yourself to get started. Break your big goal of making friends into several smaller goals with daily tasks for you to do. You might, for example, set a daily goal of talking to two new people. Find out at least one thing about each of these new people. Does he have brothers or sisters? Does she have a pet? What is their favorite music? What kind of video games do they like? Learn to listen so you can ask follow-up questions. |
| Rule 5: | Score yourself at the end of each day. Hold yourself accountable. It often helps to report to another person, so you might ask your mom to be involved in this with you. You might not have accomplished all of your daily goals, but by having an accountability system in place, you can see what you did accomplish. Give yourself a score from 0-5 points. 5 - Completed the entire daily goal. 4 - Almost completed daily goal. 3 - Worked on goal a little, but not very much. 2 - Made minimal effort. 1 - Thought about goal; took no action. 0 - Forgot about goal completely. |
| Rule 6: | Make a game out of your goal. Keep it fun. If you talked to 1 new person today, why don't you try to talk to 2 tomorrow? Try to beat your record. If you talked to a new person for 1 minute today, why not try to talk with her for 2 minutes tomorrow. Role play with your mom practicing asking questions. Get a feel for how long a minute conversation is by timing your role-playing session. |
| Rule 7: | Reward yourself as you succeed with your small daily goals. When you accomplish your big goal of making 2 -3 new friends, invite them for pizza and a movie to celebrate. |
Make sure you congratulate yourself. You set a goal, you achieved it, and you have also learned a very important life lesson about setting goals. Scary goals are made possible by using a step-by-step plan.
