Brainworks® - Life Changing Behavior Series - Part 2: Learn How To Overcome Fear

Life Changing Behavior Series

Part 2 of 6: Learn How To Overcome Fear

"Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed."
- Michael Pritchard

Verbalize and Analyze the Fear.
- All fear is real to the individual.
- Identify the specific fear.
- On a scale of 1 - 5, how serious is this fear?

Design a Supportive Environment.
- Gain knowledge and information.
- Give yourself time to process options.
- If you feel overwhelmed, it is time to call on a higher power. "Fear Not" is the most widely used command in The Holy Bible (366 times)

Think about a time in your past that you conquered a fear.
- This gives you a history of successful change.

Devise a plan of action.
- Ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that could happen?"
- What are the odds of the worst thing really happening?
- Ask yourself, "What is the ideal outcome?"
- Set realistic expectations.
- Be Pro Active!!
- Be willing to experiment with different strategies.
- Set milestones and record each success no matter how small.

Do It "Scared"!!!

Learn how Carla, the Brainworks founder, has used the 5 Steps to Overcome Fears when faced with her and her husband's cancer diagnoses.

This plan works in ANY life crisis.

Ask the Expert

Question

My 15 year old daughter, Alice, is afraid of her algebra teacher. She won't raise her hand in class or ask questions. She has been sick for 5 days and will not contact this teacher for her make-up work. How can I help her?

Answer

Let's use the 5 Steps for Overcoming Fear.

Ask your daughter why she is afraid of this teacher. Have her give specific examples of what she fears might happen. Have her rate each example on the scale of 1 - 5 and discuss it.
Sit down with your daughter, discuss options, and make a plan. Consider the school's policy about make-up work deadlines. The least fearful approach for most students (including your daughter) is to contact the teacher via e-mail requesting her assignments. Alice (not the parent) must do this before she returns to school.
Remind her of past experiences that scared her, but she did them anyway.
Have Alice think through the worst-case scenario for the time when she meets with the teacher. The odds of this actually happening are small, but if Alice is prepared with plans for the worst thing, she will be better able to deal with the actual meeting.

On her first day back in algebra, she should approach the teacher with any completed work and her list of questions for completing the remaining assignments. Encourage her to take a friend with her. While Alice is talking with the teacher, her friend can write down all the information - due dates, make-up tests, dates, tutorial times, how to get missing class notes, etc. Alice should read the dates and information back to the teacher BEFORE leaving the classroom. This guarantees that Alice and her teacher are on the same page. After the meeting, have Alice send an e-mail to the teacher thanking her for the meeting.
Alice must go through these steps herself. You may be involved, but she must contact the teacher each time. Doing this for herself will help her overcome her fears, and she will be better equipped to communicate with her teachers in the future.

Celebrate her success!! Alice now has a strategy for communicating with any teacher, even a college professor. Document this event on a calendar.

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Previous topic: Six Steps to Perseverance

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